Please Pay Attention

I'm not the next Bill Hicks. I don't consider myself a comedic genius. I just enjoy making people laugh. It is one of my great joys (after Natural Light & White Castle). I also lack filter, which at times can make my sense of humor seem a tad caustic or some may even say, insensitive. To those people I say: boo fucking hoo hoo.

I can't help it if after a busy day of flagging You Tube videos and clipping out Cathy strips you happen to find yourself in the same bar as me after I've imbibed three Car Bombs and a Yager shot and decided it's a good time for ethnic jokes.

My real friends get it.

And I always look around first.

Now, I don't want to pigeonhole this as a comedy page, but if offensive humor offends you, you'd probably be better off somewhere else. Unless, of course, you're one of those people who make a hobby out of being offended. Then I lay in wait for your self righteous comments.

Also not a good place for zippy political commentary. Not one of my strengths. I know enough to have an opinion, I've taken a definite side, but at the same time I am just ill informed enough to have my views on important issues disqualified for public consumption. All my news is accidental. Yahoo, The Daily Show, snippets of NPR when I'm in the shower, a newspaper if someone leaves it in the laundromat. I'm able to soak in enough knowledge of current events to avoid complete ignorance (a process very akin to osmosis), but unless something really catches my eye, I hardly ever seek it out. And that headline better be really fucking big. Big and cute. New York Post cute.

That's not to say I'm going to stay away completely from current events. I've got a few hairs across my ass as we speak. I just promise to stay within the confines of my very small arena and try not to get ahead of myself. In fact, one of the things I'm hoping to gain by creating this page is at least an excuse to look more closely at what's going on in the world, if only to get ideas on what to write about.

But honestly, with all the porn that's out there, and more being made every day, who really has the time?